During pregnancy, you really do spend a lot of time trying to prepare your heart and mind for being a mother. I myself did quite a bit of researching trying to figure out what would be that absolute hardest. I wanted to prepare myself for the challenges so I could be at an advantage! Most of what you find out there tells you this:
- Lack of sleep
- Breastfeeding
- Hating your husband?!
- Feeling fat
- Inability to take a time-out
- Feeling sexy
- Taking care of your own needs
Before I go into detail I just want to emphasize that this is based on MY personal experience. What has been hard or easy for me maybe the opposite for you so please do not take any offense! Also keep in mind that every baby is different! Had you asked me to answer my five, six weeks ago it very well may have been a few of those, it is all a balancing game.
#One: Having a voice
I use to think of myself as pretty easy going but now I realize I was just a plain push over. In the past if there was something I didn't want to do or eat etc... I would just go along with it and keep my preference to myself. I would keep confrontation to a minimum to prevent feelings from getting hurt etc... As a mother you see the world in a much different way. You observe your surroundings much differently. Who is in my child's environment? Is this too loud? you get my drift.
Man. Having a new baby out in the world really opens you up to some interesting situations. People will come and touch your baby... without asking... give you parenting advice... tell you if they think you should do something different- as if they know your baby better than you do. Well in the past I would have politely nodded, smiled and kept to myself if something was bothering me. BUT when you are looking out for your baby- it is different.
I had a lady who came up to me, we began talking, she was telling me how sick she had been. AND THEN goes to TOUCH my baby. EXCUSE ME?
People ask you to do things that you know your baby isn't ready for- and then they take it personal and get offended.
People ask you to do things that you know your baby isn't ready for- and then they take it personal and get offended.
My husband and I went to a Nerium party (skin products) kinda like Pampered Chef. One of the ladies asked if she could hold Little A, so she did. Another asked and that was fine. BUT then a lady came up to me who was extremely out of her mind inebriated- you could tell was the norm for her and she clearly saw nothing wrong with the situation. She just witnessed two other people hold her... what do you say?! I mean sure you can say oh its time for her to eat... or she needs a diaper change or whatever... but that lady isn't getting any soberer (I may have just made up a new word?)
It's been so hard for me to use my voice and say... No. Or I think thats enough. I feel so guilty for this. I feel like a terrible mother. I am getting better but still. People see a new baby and act as if she's a baby doll or a toy.
It's been so hard for me to use my voice and say... No. Or I think thats enough. I feel so guilty for this. I feel like a terrible mother. I am getting better but still. People see a new baby and act as if she's a baby doll or a toy.
#Two: Leaving Her at Home
Jimmy and I had talked about what kind of parents we would be, and what we wanted to preserve in our marriage etc. We both agreed that dating each other would be a top priority! I think if I had gone back to work after six weeks this would have turned out differently for me over time, well because you have to leave. You working mothers out there, I COMMEND YOU! But when you stay home with your little one and the longest you've been apart from one another is for a stray hour here and there. It is so hard. It's like taking your heart out of your body setting it on the counter and saying be back later!
#Three: Car Rides
Most of the time she does great, she sleeps or just stares at herself in the mirror. But on occasion she gets hysterical. If Jimmy and I are together it's fine. One of us can easily jump in the back and she finds enough comfort in that. But when this momma is flying solo, she cries to the point of dry-heaving and cries crocodile tears out the wazzoo. It breaks my heart. I've tried everything: white noise, music, talking; I can pull the car over and bink her, take her out and hold her or feed her. But once I put her right back in- she's back to it. It's hard to travel any where thats further than 20 minutes alone.
Jimmy and I had talked about what kind of parents we would be, and what we wanted to preserve in our marriage etc. We both agreed that dating each other would be a top priority! I think if I had gone back to work after six weeks this would have turned out differently for me over time, well because you have to leave. You working mothers out there, I COMMEND YOU! But when you stay home with your little one and the longest you've been apart from one another is for a stray hour here and there. It is so hard. It's like taking your heart out of your body setting it on the counter and saying be back later!
#Three: Car Rides
Most of the time she does great, she sleeps or just stares at herself in the mirror. But on occasion she gets hysterical. If Jimmy and I are together it's fine. One of us can easily jump in the back and she finds enough comfort in that. But when this momma is flying solo, she cries to the point of dry-heaving and cries crocodile tears out the wazzoo. It breaks my heart. I've tried everything: white noise, music, talking; I can pull the car over and bink her, take her out and hold her or feed her. But once I put her right back in- she's back to it. It's hard to travel any where thats further than 20 minutes alone.
#Four: Time Management
Ladies, you know how hard it is to get out of the house on time when it's just you? It is for me! Well add a baby to the mix. Nurse. Eat. Shower. Get yourself ready. Get baby ready. Pack the diaper bag. Nurse again and GO! And then calculate the possibility of having to pull over! Its a routine that takes forever and that I have yet to master.
Ladies, you know how hard it is to get out of the house on time when it's just you? It is for me! Well add a baby to the mix. Nurse. Eat. Shower. Get yourself ready. Get baby ready. Pack the diaper bag. Nurse again and GO! And then calculate the possibility of having to pull over! Its a routine that takes forever and that I have yet to master.
#Five: Pumping
Do you know how often a infant nurses? Every two hours and the clock starts at the beginning of the feeding session. It takes on average 20-30 minutes for a baby to nurse and then to pump another 20-30. Once your done you've got an hour before it's time to do it all over again! Talk about crazy! I am terrible about pumping as much as I should!
While my bottom three are challenging, they do not tug at my heart as much as the top two. Being tired or lacking a shower or break or feeling fat etc... has all been easy for me compared to the two. I find it amazing how much God is teaching me through motherhood. No matter how much planning or prepping I've done, there will always be the unexpected. I'm learning to ride, the ride and be still to say the least!
Do you know how often a infant nurses? Every two hours and the clock starts at the beginning of the feeding session. It takes on average 20-30 minutes for a baby to nurse and then to pump another 20-30. Once your done you've got an hour before it's time to do it all over again! Talk about crazy! I am terrible about pumping as much as I should!
While my bottom three are challenging, they do not tug at my heart as much as the top two. Being tired or lacking a shower or break or feeling fat etc... has all been easy for me compared to the two. I find it amazing how much God is teaching me through motherhood. No matter how much planning or prepping I've done, there will always be the unexpected. I'm learning to ride, the ride and be still to say the least!
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