Before I was a Mom

Before I Was a Mom
Author: Unknown

Before I was a Mom... I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone. 

Before I was a Mom... I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed. I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday. 

Before I was a Mom... I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.

Before I was a Mom... I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about Immunizations. 

Before I was a Mom... I had never been puked on, pooped on, spit on, chewed on, peed on or pinched by tiny fingers. I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts, and my body. I slept all night. 

Before I was a Mom... I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep. 

Before I was a Mom... I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would love being a Mom. 

Before I was a Mom... I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important. 

Before I was a Mom... I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment, or the satisfaction of being a Mom. I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom

This sure does resonate in my heart. Each one of these are so very true. I find it quite mind blowing how much a little one really changes you. I mean sure you know things will change and you know you will love your little one to the moon and back but nothing prepares you for the AMOUNT of love you are about to discover. Promoting to motherhood has reshaped my heart in so many wonderful ways and comical ways. Before I became a mother I had all of these "intentions/ plans". My how those have changed and you know how much of a planner I am! Sometimes I wonder if people think I'm one of "those" Moms?. But from what I have read on other blogs etc... It is normal for first time mommies to be a little more over-protective than they had "planned". I thought I would share a few...

Before I was a Mom... I thought I would jump right back into the gym once she turned 6 weeks (old enough to go to the day care in a gym). But my heart shatters every time I think about leaving her with a stranger, I'd rather be FAT. What is that!

Before I was a Mom... I told myself once I could get her established with drinking breast milk from a bottle that Jimmy and I would go out for a date night ASAP. Jimmy and I use to go dancing once a week it was our thing. But it actually took several more weeks than anticipated to prepare my heart for leaving our little peach.

Before I was a Mom... I thought it would be easy leaving her with a close friend or family member but it has been one of my TOP FIVE challenges of being a mother, I thought I would be racing out the door to get a little quiet time to myself grocery shopping etc...I didn't realize that the entire time away I would be thinking about going back home.

Before I was a Mom... I thought breast feeding was going to be one of the biggest challenges- thats at least what everyone tells you! But no... its actually pumping. Pumping is quite a task.

Before I was a Mom... I thought I would be jumping at the bit to get her shots, so she could go where ever with the peace of mind of her being protected of pertussis (whooping cough) etc.. But when it came down to it, I had anxiety for days. I thought about rescheduling and putting it off a million times. Theres nothing worse than hearing your little one cry in pain and anticipating your little one not feeling well for a few days. For those of you without little ones let me tell you that cry is heart wrenching!

Before I was a Mom... I could not wait to have a glass of wine or margarita etc.. But when the opportunity arose it was honestly kinda gross. Also the thought of having to wait to breast feed made me feel like I was missing out on "bonding" with her.

Before I was a Mom... We had planned on putting her in her room at night after 6 weeks then it was 2 months and now I don't even know when I'll be "ready". Some pediatricians recommend waiting till 6 MONTHS. Can you believe that? I'm not really sure where our journey will lead us there.

Before I was a Mom... I thought I would be able to sleep through the nights that were Jimmy's. It is IMPOSSIBLE to sleep through our little ones cries, much less her adorable coos and grunts.

I remember my mom always telling me that I would never understand how much she loved me until I had my own and BOY is that true! My advice to any new mothers out there or ones pondering the idea. Just know that nothing will prepare you for the strength of the bond you will have with your baby and if that changes your plans or intentions with parenting or your lifestyle THATS OKAY! Listen to your instincts and go along a timeline thats best for you and your baby! 

Nana rocking Little A while we were having date night.